God created us by love and created us to love. Life teaches us to fear and to be defined by fear.
How did we lose our intended perspective of being a loved creation of God? The lies of fear are laid down in our brains from early childhood. Our immature brains are egocentric and the every actions of others and life happenings are personalized. This personalization “teaches” us who we are and how we should interact with others.
Children need to know they are loved and that they are safe. The actions of others may teach us to believe we are unlovable, not enough, unwanted, not valued, alone…forming fears that impact our identity of self.
An environment that is unpredictable and unfair may “teach” us to fear that we are not safe, vulnerable, powerless, out of control, etc.
Each learned or perceived fear has a learned coping reaction for protection ( i.e.: fight, flight or freeze) which begins to develop networks of patterns in the brain. That coping reaction is manifested in several different ways; by lashing out in anger, withdrawal to protect, repression of feelings, keeping the peace, perfectionism, performance, working hard or withdrawal to numb by self medicating with substances or sex. These are just a few examples. There are many more coping behaviors and identities of self that children can learn.
These fears and reactions learned in childhood will lead to the anxieties, anger, addictions, relational disconnecting, over controlling (and the list goes on) actions of adulthood.
Understanding where you may have learned those false realities responsible for these feelings of pain is the first step toward healing your fears and recovering your true identity. The personalized perception of life through the eyes of a child creates a distortion of reality. For example; the constant criticism and controlling actions of a parent may send a message to a child that they are inadequate and not good enough. When in reality the actions of the parent speaks more to their insecurities and fears of failure. What people say and do says more about them and their needs than you.
The good news is that the brain is neurogenic, it can rewire itself, forming new pathways of perceiving and responding. Transformation, healing the pain of fear, begins in mind.
2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (NLT)
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (ESV)
How can the fears and pain of earlier life be reset, released and healed? The process of replacing the painful lie of fear with the truth of God’s love brings a healing peace to our reality. It is a process not only involving spiritual formation and renewal but also of a physical retraining of the brain. The true realities of our soul identity in Christ can impact the physical neurological processes of our biological brain.
We all have had the experience of feeling the sensation of sadness, shame, fear or anger as we have a recall of a particular memory of childhood. The past Sensations, Images, Feelings and Thoughts (SIFT) of the past can trigger the same SIFT in the present.… A trigger in the present can activate memory networks of the past throwing a person into the misinformed and short-sighted perspective or heart script of our child-selves.
This script can be rewritten and reset with intentional effort and trusting in the truth of God’s love. We all hold an inner child with in us. Recapture that inner child by visualizing your child-self feeling those times of pain and confusion. As you hold that memory, feeling and thinking those fears, imagine Jesus stepping in, holding and communicating with that child from the past. (the you that was then). Communicating how valuable, lovable, purposed and treasured you are in the reality of God’s perspective. Many people will say that they can imagine Jesus saying those truth’s to another child but not to their child of the past. . How can we return to our true identity of being a beloved creation of God? Please listen to the following song and the video about God’s love.
Be God stuck! Believe the truth of His love for you. Receive His grace, Release the fear, Recover your Beauty.