Cathy T Burns

Counselor, Teacher, Writer, Spiritual Director

Joy in Suffering

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“I am overwhelmed with joy despite all our troubles.”

2 Corinthians 7:4 MSG

The unprecedented, unpredictable, and unrelenting global invasion of COVID 19 results in layers of suffering. The constant pronouncement of lives lost, business closures, schools going virtual, and family separations caused by this virus produce tangible, profound grief and Loss. Loss begins to define and shape our reality.

Suffering of Loss

Experiencing the suffering of Loss can leave us feeling depressed, anxious, impatient, and overreactive. As it seeps into our hearts and minds, we can cope by becoming self-focused, unkind, or numbed out. Is it possible to live in this Covid world and not let the Losses define you?

Since July 1 the Bennetts, as reported on NBC news, suffered the loss of having a newborn in the PICU during the restrictions of Covid. They have been an example of resilience and joy in suffering. By refusing to not be stuck in discouragement, bitterness, and isolation they made another choice. They looked beyond themselves and orchestrated an event of giving which became a joyous outpouring of donations giving other PICU families support. The Bennets demonstrated both gratitude, generosity, and joy in reaching out.

How can we foster a positive mindset in a time of suffering? How can we make that joy adjustment?

Joy is a Choice

Our brains will naturally focus on the negative. A negative bias is the default setting of our brains. A bias is an unfair, distorted one-sided view of reality. In contrast, an open mind accepts both the reality of losses and appreciates the possibility of a positive reality. The question then is how does one choose to be aware of both realities at the same time?

First, it is important to NOTICE, to be aware, acknowledge the losses, and process how they impact our lives. Affirm the natural feelings of frustration, despair, hopelessness, and despair. Do not waste energy stuffing and numbing. To write our feelings down helps our brain to download and process, normalizing our grief. We need to give ourselves permission to grieve! It is natural to have a feeling of grief when losses occur, and noticing your feelings without judgment is essential to opening ourselves up to gratitude.

Second, we must be intentional about slowing down, to be present in the moment. This decision allows us to have more clarity regarding the goodness that is present in our world. Notice the beauty of creation and the kind actions of friends. Appreciate the helpfulness of strangers- such as health care workers and other essential people- and acknowledge our own strengths.

Third, THANK outside the box. Write down what we are thankful for will improve our focus on the positive aspects of our life. Shifting our focus to acknowledge the positive moments can turn suffering into renewal and growth. For example, while the pandemic has brought the worse, highlighting uncertainty, it also reveals our inner strength and God’s provision. The world may be out of control, but we can control our responses. Studies have shown that trials and suffering can actually refine and deepen gratefulness because we choose not to take things for granted. Things like our shelter, health, love of family, and friends. Gratitude leads us to more joy. The more grateful we become, the more joy is connected to our reality.

Fourth, celebrate the beauty of life. Celebrate by honoring traditions as well as creating new traditions. There are 4 times as many outside lights on my neighbor’s homes this Christmas than last year! My neighbors are celebrating our neighborhood and the season in the midst of this dark winter. There are more zoom reunions, cards, texts, and phone calls. Suffering can remind us of what is life-giving. What can we still do, even in a pandemic! Celebrate those little things we enjoy like a shared meal, building gingerbread houses, lighting candles, playing games, walking out of doors, Christmas music, and lights. Celebrate the light of life!

Joy of God’s Love

It is a staggering wonder how the creator of the universe lavishes us, mere humans, the created, with love. He pursues, protects, and provides. He is a forgiving Father. God gives His grace to strengthen, renew, and restore us into His presence for eternity. Faith in this love produces a joy that touches every part of our life and the world around us. Here are 6 scriptures that point to the wondrous joy that flows from a life lived with God.

  • “Blessed are you when people hate you…Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven” Luke 6:22-23
  • “The fruit of the Spirit is ….joy” Galatians 5:22
  • “The kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” Romans 14:17
  • “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13
  • “Rejoice in the Lord always…” Philippians 4:4
  • “We rejoice in sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character hope.” Romans 5:3-4

God’s love is stronger than the dark chaos of pain.

His love is unconditional, unending, and unfailing.

God’s love is the unshakable source of our joy.

Our darkness in the suffering can be ignited with the light of joy from His unmistakable love. Our grateful eyes will see His light.

We need to remind each other that the cup of sorrow is also the cup of joy, that precisely what causes us sadness can become the fertile ground for gladness. Indeed, we need to be angels for each other, to give each other strength and consolation. Because only when we fully realize that the cup of life is not only a cup of sorrow but also a cup of joy will we be able to drink it.

quote from You are the Beloved by Henri Nouwen

The pain will not define us
Joy will reignite us…

Celebrate the Joy!

To Taste God’s Goodness We Must First Have a Taste for God Part 2

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Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him! Psalm 34:8 NLT

Empty at last. My home of the last five years was now a house again, empty of my family’s presence, pictures, and remnants. It had been a long, lonely ordeal of packing, sorting and disposing of my household goods. I had been alone for two months as my husband had begun a job eleven hours away.

As the moving van drove off, I entered the empty house and made my final round. I entered my study and noticed a crumpled piece of paper on the floor. I picked it up and begin to dispose of it, with the rest of the debris; but I stopped to examine the wayward paper.  My heart was energized as I read the words of a song copied:

I Have This Hope

Tenth Avenue North

As I walk this great unknown
Questions come and questions go
Was there purpose for the pain?
Did I cry these tears in vain?

I don’t want to live in fear
I want to trust that You are near
Trust Your grace can be seen
In both triumph and tragedy

I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You’re with me and You won’t let go

But sometimes my faith feels thin
Like the night will never end
Will You catch every tear
Or will You just leave me here?

But I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You’re with me and You won’t let go

Yes, I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You’re with me and You won’t let go

So, whatever happens I will not be afraid
Cause You are closer than this breath that I take
You calm the storm when I hear You call my name
I still believe that one day I’ll see Your face

I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You’re with me

I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You’re with me and You won’t let go

In the flood or the fire
You’re with me and You won’t let go

In the flood or the fire
You’re with me and You won’t let go

Songwriters: Jason Ingram / Michael Donehey / Jeff Owen

I had spent the last two months, seeking hard, studying diligently seeking to deeply satisfy my empty loneliness with the taste of God. I knew that this was a note from my Father, it had His flavor all over it! It was the provision I needed before I began the eleven-hour drive to another state.

The next morning, my car was loaded with treasured belongings and essentials, including two large dogs; my sleeping companions for the journey. As I was leaving the city limits, I HAVE THIS HOPE, played on the radio. I almost had to pull over because I was so overwhelmed with joy. Tears began to flow, as I tasted the goodness of God who had been and will always be my refuge.

 

Trust is the Taste Receptor of the Soul that Savors the Goodness of God

The tongue, the taste organ of the body, has 10,000 taste receptor cells. These cells convey information about the chemical composition of the “soluble stimulus” that come in contact with the tongue. This process is responsible for the pleasure derived in consuming delicious food.

The soul, the essence of our being, is equipped to receive unlimited stimuli from the presence of our omniscient, sovereign God. Our trust determines the soul’s limitation to accurately taste the goodness of God.

In that moment of hearing the song on the radio, my heart perceived his constant provision and presence. I was confident I was going to make the journey, accompanied by His presence. What a joy!

The more we examine Who God is and open the eyes to our heart we will be able to perceive His provision and presence.

Examine and see how good the Lord is.
    Happy is the person who trusts him. Psalm 34:8 NCV

We trust as we surrender and let God break and soften our hearts, knowing that He is good and His love is great. 

 

Morning Reflections ~ Joyfully Trust God!

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by Edwin Mooijaart Photography

This morning my heart was stirred as I pondered the unfathomable presence, power, peace, and provision of Jehovah, the God of the universe, who is the lover of my soul. I am foolish not to trust Him.

Psalm 57:7-11 NLT My heart is confident in you, O God;
    my heart is confident.
    No wonder I can sing your praises!
8 Wake up, my heart!
    Wake up, O lyre and harp!
    I will wake the dawn with my song.
9 I will thank you, Lord, among all the people.
    I will sing your praises among the nations.
10 For your unfailing love is as high as the heavens.
    Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.

11 Be exalted, O God, above the highest heavens.
    May your glory shine over all the earth.

Truth - Debbie Hannah Skinner

Truth – Original Watercolor painting by Debbie Hannah Skinner.

Job 26:14 NLT  …These are just the beginning of all that he does,
    merely a whisper of his power.
    Who, then, can comprehend the thunder of his power?”

Psalm 139:1-6 NLT O Lord, you have examined my heart   
    and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
    You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
    and when I rest at home.
    You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
    even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand!

Ephesians 3:20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

 Lord, I joyfully entrust myself to Your keeping!   THERE NO OTHER NAME!

Morning Reflections: The Light of God’s Truth, Love and Power

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pic hearts light 4For You cause my lamp to be lighted and to shine; The Lord my God illumines my darkness. Psalms 18:28 (AMP)
For with You is the fountain of life [the fountain of life-giving water]; In Your light we see light.     Psalms 36:9 (AMP)

Holy Spirit, Truth divine,
Dawn upon this soul of mine;
Word of God and inward light,
Wake my spirit, clear my sight.

Holy Spirit, Love divine,
Glow within this heart of mine;

Truth - Debbie Hannah Skinner

Truth – Original Watercolor painting by Debbie Hannah Skinner.

Kindle every high desire;
Perish self in your pure fire.

Holy Spirit, Power divine,
Fill and nerve this will of mine;
Grant that I may strongly live,

Bravely bear, and noble strive.

Holy Spirit, Right divine,
King within my conscience reign:
Be my Lord, and I shall be
Firmly bound, forever free.
                           Samuel Longfellow

What a joy that we can live the light! A light of love placed in our souls by our Father. A love we can give – to bring light to the dark and broken of the world.  TO LIVE HOPE(FULL)

Remember, our Message is not about ourselves; we’re proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we are is messengers, errand runners from Jesus for you. It started when God said, “Light up the darkness!” and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful. 2 Corinthians 4:5-6

Listen to You Put the Light in Me and open your eyes to the presences of God’s light.

My Morning reflections: The Knowing of God

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insta knowNow this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. John 17:3 NIV

Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Psalms 100:3 NIV

 

To KNOW ABOUT God is important but more important is to KNOW OF God. Knowing facts about God is helpful and can lead us to a desire to have a relationship with Him. To experience God is to know of His presence in our lives. The Greek word for know in John 17:3 is ginosko, meaning to be felt, aware, through personal experience. The Hebrew word for know in Psalms 100:3 is yada, meaning to be aware, acquainted with as a familiar friend, to discern.

The Knowing of God is not an option, it is  “eternal life”. To know the creator of you, to know that you belong to Him who is good, eternally faithful and loving gives a profound security, fortifying your sense worth. The knowing of God brings joy…

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful

Truth - Debbie Hannah Skinner

Truth – Original Watercolor painting by Debbie Hannah Skinner.

songs. Know that the Lord is God.It is he who made us, and we are hisa ; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.   aOr and not we ourselves  Psalms 100 NIV

Focus today on His presences by being aware of your blessings of love and provision.

Father, help fix my eyes on your unfailing divine love as I trust Your presences always in my life. I give praises for your mercy and grace through the name of you Son, Jesus. AMEN

Shame Fuels Depression and Anxiety, Joy fuels Confidence and Contentment

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insta joyTall, smart, quiet, lanky, blonde, and freckled would be the words I’d describe myself as a girl. One would think with that description I would have been confident in my appearance and acceptance of others. Not the case! I was too tall, too lanky…I did not feel normal, smart enough or pretty enough. In middle school, even during warm weather,  I would wear long sleeves in humid south Texas to cover my shame of thin arms. In preschool, I was “chatty Cathy” but by late elementary school I became quiet; self critical of how I would sound if I spoke up. In third grade, I had panic attacks over doing math flash cards in class! I was my own worse critic and fearful of not measuring up among my peers in academic ability, physical appearance and worth as a friend. I worried and ruminated, replaying my negative self perceptions, heightened by self criticism and shame. Not only did I suffer anxiety, but cycles of depression as well, coinciding  with PMS. Where was the joy?!

Multiple members of my family lived with anxiety. Since anxiety can be genetically linked, it is no surprise that I also had that struggle.  Studies have also indicated that “shame is a major component of a range of mental health problems” including anxiety and depression.***There were sound reasons why my childhood experience, created my shame, fueling my anxiety and depression as a young adult. Should the rest of my life be dictated by the perceptions I formed as a child?  No. There is a way to change and heal the shame. I have a choice. I can choose to live with my identity of shame, doomed to feel anxious with an outlook of depression OR choose to have compassion for my experiences and reparent my shame driven inner child to become a purposed secure adult with a mind-set of joy.

Living in Joy is a mind-set, a choice, not a fleeting mood. It is independent and unconditional, not influenced by circumstances. How can this “joy” be realized? In John 15 Jesus urges the disciples to v4 “remain in Him” to v9 “remain in His Love”.  Jesus asked them to trust His love.

I have told you these things so that my joy may be in you, and your joy may be complete. John15:11(NET)

David proclaims in Psalms 16:1

You lead me in the path of life;
I experience absolute joy in your presence;
you always give me sheer delight.

David felt joy as he realized God’s presence, seeking God to lead him to a path of life. David trusted God’s love.

Turning shame to joy takes trusting in the love of God.

To turn my shame to joy I must first take off, leave behind, my old broken self.

This is done by having compassion for my experiences and seeking to understand that I live in a broken world of imperfect people that can affect my self perception. I learned to cope in not so effective ways leading to sadness and anxious thoughts. Unworthy, not good enough, defective, unimportant were the deceiving words of my shame. Yet, there were other words that I heard from God, such as loved, accepted, and purposed, that I was not sure I could trust. God called me at an early age, I do not ever remember not loving Jesus. But it took me years to learn to tell my “little girl” that she was precious and God’s love was for her. I needed to trust God’s, my Father’s, love to reparent my shame and build my confidence in order to take the next step….To put on my new identity as His child and live life like it was true.

 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.  Ephesians 4:21-14 (NLT)

As His child, I am able to think and act differently through the power of His Spirit that now “remains in me”. It is a process each day, building on my trust as I read His word and seek His presence. Tony Evans says that “Faith is acting like it is so, even when is is not so, so that it might be so, simply because God said so.”  I choose to see myself as precious and valuable acting as if it is so, even when, at times, it did not seem so…..it is becoming so…turning my shame to joy living in the trustworthy love of my Father. In joy I live, confident in my worth with contentment in my circumstance, giving the light of God’s presence to others.

The process of living in my new identity releases the shame and allows joy to arise. The mindset of joy is maintained through faith, prayer, thankfulness and being open to the Holy Spirit as is described in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-19:

16 Always be joyful. 17 Never stop praying. 18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 19 Do not stifle the Holy Spirit. (NLT)

Renewing your attitude towards the mindset of trusting God’s love and living in joy is not a “task” for you to toil in alone. God will strengthen you and direct you into His love.

5 May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ. (NLT)

SO..take off the broken, the shame and let God turn it into SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL  as described in this song by Steven Curtis Chapman.

(***Gilbert, P., Procter, S. (2006) Compassionate Mind Training for People with High Shame and Self Criticism: Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 13, 353-379.)

Troubles, Trust and Thankful Prayers

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 instaumbrellaDo not lag in zeal, be enthusiastic in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, endure in suffering, persist in prayer. (Romans 12: 11:12 NET)

An evil person suffers much pain, but the Lord’s faithfulness overwhelms the one who trusts in him. (Psalms 32:10 NET)

Light is sown for the [uncompromisingly] righteous and strewn along their pathway, and joy for the upright in heart [the irrepressible joy which comes from consciousness of His favor and protection]. (Psalms 91:11 AMP)

 Always be joyful. Never stop praying.  Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. Do not stifle the Holy Spirit. (I Thessalonians 5:16-19 NLT)

Suffering and trouble are a given in life. To a believer of the life and love of Jesus Christ, troubles can open the door for increased joy and hope as continuous prayers are said with an attitude of thanksgiving – trusting the overwhelming faithfulness and protection our Lord. The reign of trouble dissipates as we release our fear and open our hearts with thanksgiving to the power and presence of His Spirit within us.

Truth - Debbie Hannah Skinner

Truth – Original Watercolor painting by Debbie Hannah Skinner.

Thank you Father for hearing the petitions of my heart and strengthening me as I experience the brokenness of this world. You transform the broken to beauty, giving the hope of everlasting love, transferring your Spirit into my inner being, transforming my life by the name of your son Jesus Christ, AMEN

 

 

Wounds to Wonder, the Joy of Christmas

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The end of the year brings a surge of suffering souls seeking wise counsel as they try to survive this “joyous” time of year.”I always dread this time of year” are words often uttered through taunt faces accompanied by that heavy sigh of burden.

The counseling offimgresice is fragrant with a soft smell of the season and the unseen presences of prayer. Prayers are offered that these passing weary souls will be enlightened and enriched with the knowledge and felt presences of a loving Savior. This office is the landing place of numerous words that are held tightly in the heart of the counselor.

Words of the wounded express sorrow. Loss. Lostness. Confusion. Anger. Despair. Sadness. Anxiety. Brokenness. Hurt. Regret. Shame and guilt….the wound is exposed. Grief of loss. A mother murdered, decades ago on the week of Christmas. A secret is revealed of untold addictions and affairs. A child is lost to suicide leaving a vicious void. A long term relationship just ended with the revelation of lies.  An illness robs a body and family of normal. A dancer looses a limb to a tumor. A promising son is killed by a suicidal driver. A job is terminate in an unfair turmoil. Sister against sister causing family tension. Resentment for years of angry and critical words…..on and on the words of the wounded released.  The pain is poignant as it peaks in the midst of platitudes peace of earth and good will to man. What Joy is this?

Pain and suffering, hope and joy are the elements of a healing wound.

This same office heard a release of words as celebration and relief were raised. Through weeks of exposing the darkness of a wound to the light of the truth, new possibilities and hope have emerged. Marriages are more transparent with a deeper intimate understanding of the self and spouse. Forgiveness births a transformation of connection, releasing the burden of shame. Grief emerges into acceptance of the loss and appreciation of what was experienced. Exposure of lies and the distortion of self shame gives clarity to a soul. The work of the wounded leaving the pit of despair, gives light to inexpressible joy.

It is a our choice to be defined by our wounds or the wonder of our joy.

David express his joy as he went from the pit to praise of God’s love and provision:

Psalm 40:1-5   The Message

I waited and waited and waited for God.   At last he looked; finally he listened.   He lifted me out of the ditch,
pulled me from deep mud.  He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip.   He taught me how to sing the latest God-song,  a praise-song to our God.  More and more people are seeing this:  they enter the mystery,
    abandoning themselves to God.

Blessed are you who give yourselves over to God,  turn your backs on the world’s “sure thing,”  ignore what the world worships; The world’s a huge stockpile of God-wonders and God-thoughts. Nothing and no one  comes close  to you!  I start talking about you, telling what I know, and quickly run out of words.  Neither numbers nor words account for you.

Henri Nouwen cautions not to avoid the wounds but encourages “befriending our sorrows” to “discover the true joy”

We all must hold the cups of our lives.  As we grow older and become more fully aware of the many sorrows of life – personal failures, family conflicts, disappointments in work and social life, and the many pains surrounding us on the national and international scene – everything within and around us conspires to make us ignore, avoid, suppress, or simply deny these sorrows.  “Look at the sunny side of life and make the best of it,” we say to ourselves and hear others say to us.   But when we want to drink the cups of our lives, we need first to holdthem, to fully acknowledge what we are living, trusting that by not avoiding but befriending our sorrows we will discover the true joy we are looking for right in the midst of our sorrows.

What do wounds of pain  and wonder of  joy have to do with Christmas?

The arrival of  the Holy Son of God in the flesh into this domain of evil was an assault on the wound maker. His arrival was the true Joy to the world. A swaddled innocent powerless child in a cradle who grew into a suffering innocent, powerless, man on a cross is our Immanuel – God with us.

Philippians 2:7-8 NLT

Instead, he gave up his divine privileges he took the humble position of a slave
    and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God
    and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

The submission of  powerlessness, in the position as a slave, highlights the powerful love of our Father. His Spirit now lives with in us, his children. To trust the truth of His presences within us profoundly changes the impact of the wound maker.

Hebrews 2:14 NLT

Because God’s children are human beings—made of flesh and blood—the Son also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had the power of death.

The Christmas story does not end at the cradle it continues to the cross and lives now in the hearts of God’s children. As Jesus was about to be crucified he prayed to His father:

John 17:11  NCV

 I am coming to you; I will not stay in the world any longer. But they are still in the world. Holy Father, keep them safe by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they will be one, just as you and I are one.

What Joy! As a child of God we are one with Him as is Jesus. United, saved from the despair wrought by the wound maker. Focusing on the fact of the gift of unity rather than our fear of struggle brings joy in the midst of the struggle. The words written by Ann VosKamp in her recent Advent book, The Greatest Gift: Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas, brings clarity to the importance significance of focusing on the gift:

…rejoicing in the Lord happens while we still struggle in the now. Struggling and rejoicing are not two chronological steps, one following the other, but two concurrent movements, on fluid with the other. As the cold can move ou deeper toward the fire, struggling can move you deeper toward God, who warms you with joy. Struggling can deepen joy.

That is the wonder that the world sees, God’s people having joy in the struggle of life, evidence of a divine presences defining the children of His love. To focus on the wonder of God’s love rather on the wounds of our struggles is the joy, the gift, that brings a profound peace to the heart. Truly Jesus is a JOY TO THE WORLD! UNSPEAKABLE JOY!!

Release the Wound, Rejoice in Wonder!